


If our love's insanity (why are you my clarity)

by annie1017



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6229180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annie1017/pseuds/annie1017
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then, Jongin leans over to drop a quick kiss on the girl’s cheek and Lu Han’s world shatters; nothing is the same anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If our love's insanity (why are you my clarity)

**Author's Note:**

> alternate version of Wolf MV aka what the real plot was

  
Lu Han isn’t completely sure when he fell in love with his best friend.  
  
In fact, one moment, everything is normal, but the next thing he knows, his heart feels as if it’s going to jump out of his throat because Jongin has merely touched his hand.  
  
It’s stupid, Lu Han thinks, to have this kind of reaction to Jongin’s touch. They’ve been best friends for more almost five years, and hell, they’ve showered together in the same gym locker room after gym class for the past three years. Still, Lu Han finds himself avoiding Jongin’s gaze during those showers, looking everywhere but at Jongin’s lean, tanned body.  
  
When Lu Han really tries, however, to trace these newfound feelings, all lines return to one moment.  
  
He is early to school one morning, and spends the few extra minutes in the school cafe before meeting up with his friends as usual in front of the school. They’re a ruggest bunch, Lu Han thinks. Kris always has on a scary bitch face, Sehun never smiles, Baekhyun never leaves his house without his eyeliner, Tao has been known for roughing up people who get in his way, and Chen is always wearing his studded leather jacket and combat boots.  
  
There are rumors about them, all twelve of them, because they’re good looking rich boys with flashy, fast cars. Some claim they have relations to the Triads; others claim that they are the ones responsible for most of the graffiti in the city. None of the rumors are true, but Kris and Joonmyun have decided that a bit of mystery and speculation never hurt anybody.  
  
Lu Han has a coffee cup and two donuts in his hand when he sees Jongin sitting on the school’s stone steps, his tie haphazardly done and lazy smile full on. He’s not alone, however; Jongin is sitting with a girl Lu Han recognizes from English class with long dark hair and pale, porcelain skin. Something about her ticks Lu Han off immediately. Maybe it is the flawless skin and big eyes? Or maybe, it was just the fact that Jongin is looking at her as if she is the most amazing thing on this planet.  
  
Then, Jongin leans over to drop a quick kiss on the girl’s cheek and Lu Han’s world shatters; nothing is the same anymore.  
  
To be in love with one’s best friend is a hard thing to deal with. After Jongin introduces the girl as his new girlfriend, Lu Han wants nothing more than to dig himself into a hole to hide in for the rest of his life. Instead, he attempts to distance himself from Jongin, but even that is hard. Jongin is part of Lu Han’s daily life, so ingrained in Lu Han’s routine that he is impossible to avoid.  
  
“She’s interested in psychology,” Jongin says one day, out of the blue. “She wants to skip the intro class and jump right into a more advanced level. ”  
  
Lu Han doesn’t look up.  
  
“Didn’t you take psychology?” Jongin presses on. “I told her that - I mean, I was wondering if you could just...I don’t know...talk to her?”  
  
“Talk to her?” Lu Han repeats mildly.  
  
“I think you’ll really like her!” Jongin replies, shrugging. “You guys are really similar, Lu Han. You’ll get along well.”  
  
Lu Han has no intention to talk to anyone, but Jongin insists. The next thing he knows, they’re seated in the library, all three of them. Jongin glances back and forth between his girlfriend and his best friend with a pleased look on his face before excusing himself.  
  
Lu Han sighs and opens his old psychology text book. “There’s a lot of basic terms you’ll need to know to skip into advanced psych,” he says. “Let’s start with history and approaches.”  
  
As she jots down the notes, Lu Han studies the girl’s side profile. He wants to know exactly what it was about this girl that had captured Jongin’s interest. What did she have that he didn’t, other than the obvious girl parts? Sure, she has perfect, alabaster skin, but what good does that do in the long run? And okay, she is beautiful, but Lu Han is pretty sure that his own eyelashes are longer than hers.  
  
“Lu Han?”  
  
“Humm?”  
  
“You’re staring,” she says, gently, not looking up from her notes.  
  
Lu Han coughs awkwardly. “Sorry.” _I was busy planning your demise._ “You’re really beautiful,” he says instead.  
  
She pauses for a moment and her eyes flick up to scan his face quickly. “I...um...thanks?”  
  
Suddenly, Lu Han feels embarrassed. What was he doing, accidentally hitting on Jongin’s girlfriend?  
  
It isn’t until two days later, when Lu Han absentmindedly throws a flirting wink at her that he realizes maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t an accident at all. In fact, Lu Han finds himself studying the back of her head in English class, wondering if there was anything he could do to break up her and Jongin.  
  
  
  
  
“Lu?” Kris, their duizhang, is not amused. “What do you think you’re doing?” They are hanging out in Baekhyun’s family’s garage, and Kris has his feet propped up on a table where Kyungsoo and Xiumin are playing cards.  
  
 _Trying to steal my best friend’s girlfriend because I’m in love with him and can’t stand seeing him with her?_ “I’m ah...nothing?”  
  
Kris’ eyes narrow and he whistles, raising a hand to wave Joonmyun over. Together, the two leaders stare Lu Han down.  
  
“I’m going to ask you again, before Jongin gets back,” Kris says, slowly. “Tell us what’s going on. Is this going to cause trouble for the crew?”  
  
Joonmyun shoots Kris a frown, before offering Lu Han a softened smile. “We just want to make sure that nothing bad goes down,” he says in a much gentler tone.  
  
Lu Han decides to go the easier route. “I think I’m in love with Jongin’s girlfriend,” he lies.  
  
Kris’ face pales. “But...he’s your best friend!”  
  
“You can’t tell him,” Lu Han says, immediately. “Kris, you can’t let Jongin know.”  
  
Kris sighs before nodding begrudgingly. “You kids are crazy,” he mutters, turning away. “Out of all the girls at out goddamn school, you guys just had to like the same one...”  
  
As Lu Han stands up to stretch, he sees Joonmyun giving him one last look. Lu Han can’t help but shiver; he has a feeling that Joonmyun sees right through his facade.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sometimes, Lu Han thinks that Jongin’s girlfriend responds to his not-so-subtle advances. Other times, he thinks that it is just wishful thinking.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
When Kris calls three times in the span of two minutes, Lu Han knows something is wrong. He feels bile rise up in his throat as he picks up the next call, bringing the phone to his ear with dread.  
  
“I’m sorry,” the voice in the other end of the line rasps. “Lu Han, I’m so sorry. He knows.”  
  
He knows? Knows what, exactly?  
  
“Just- just run,” Kris wheezes. “He’s really mad, Lu; he’s going to do something rash that he’s going to regret.”  
  
Kris' voice is cut off by a loud screeching noise as a shiny red Camaro barrels into the garage. Is it Jongin’s car and it grinds to a stop, barely missing a metal folding chair by less than a yard. Muttering a goodbye, Lu Han hangs up the phone and sticks it back into his pocket.  
  
Instinctively, Lu Han starts forward to greet Jongin, but knows something is very, very wrong as soon as the door to the driver’s side opens. Jongin’s eyes are wild, and he looks angrier than Lu Han has ever seen him before.  
  
“Go,” Joonmyun mutters, standing up immediately. “Lu Han, leave. Now!”  
  
Not taking any chances, Lu Han immediately starts toward the other end of the garage.  
  
“Hey, you fucker, get back here!” Jongin yells, taking off after him.  
  
Lu Han does not look back, and instead takes the stairs up to the second floor of the garage two at a time. He ducks through carts filled with car parts and dirty rags and appears in the back of the building. Taking a deep breath, he vaults over the railings of the fire escape, unfolding his body into a roll to break his fall. Lu Han turns around just in time to see Jongin burst through the doors, followed by the rest of the frantic crew calling for Jongin to calm down, but he does not stop to wait. Instead, Lu Han runs.  
  
  
  
  
  
They lose Joonmyun and the rest of the crew somewhere between the garage and the subway. Lu Han hops onto the first train that pulls into the station, and breathes a sigh of relief when the doors close without Jongin. As he leans back against the cool plastic seats, trying to catch his breath, Lu Han curses every fiber of being that is Kris Wu, stupid Kris Wu who could not keep his mouth shut.  
  
“Fuck,” Lu Han mutters, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t even like her, _goddammit_.”  
  
Lu Han gets off two stops later, and makes his way to a park near his elementary school. It is dark, past 9PM, and the playground is eerily empty. Lu Han plops down onto a swing and puts his head between his hands. Everything is falling apart, and he does not know where to go from here.  
  
Lu Han is yanked out of his self pity-party by a hand grasped around the collar of his cameo jacket. In retrospect, Lu Han is not surprised that Jongin finds him there less than an hour later. Apart from having the same friends and liking the same things, they also hung out at the same places, after all.  
  
“You,” Jongin growls, yanking Lu Han halfway down the block.  
  
“Jongin, stop. You don’t understand - ” Lu Han reaches out to push Jongin away, but the taller boy shoves until he has Lu Han pushed up against a wall.  
  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jongin barks, eyes flashing. “I thought we were friends, Lu. How could you betray me like this? After all we’ve been through, after all these years? How the fuck can you - ”  
  
Lu Han shuts him up in the only way possible: he pushes right back and kisses Jongin on the lips. For a moment, Jongin is frozen in shock, but then, he kisses back. Maybe, Lu Han thinks, Jongin does understand after all. Maybe Jongin has understood all along.  
  
  



End file.
